Communication Dialogue

Communication Dialogue Exercise

Make an appointment to discuss the issue.  This is important in order to give each person time to consider what they want to say and to arrange a time when both people are rested and not pushed for time due to some other commitment.

  1. The talker shares his or her thoughts and feelings regarding the issues, (in 1-3 short sentences at a time) and then pauses for the other person to mirror back what they have said.
  2. Mirroring: The listener reflects or mirrors back to the talker what they have said almost verbatim using phrases such as:
  • If I’ve got you right you’re saying_________________________.
  • I think I hear you saying_________________________________.
  • If I understand you correctly _____________________________.
  • Did I get it right?
  • What did I miss?
  • Is there anything else you want me to know?
  1. Validation: The goal is for the listener to put themselves in the shoes of the talker, by completing the following phrase:                                                         
  • It makes sense when you say__________, because___________.
  1. Empathizing: The listener then attempts to identify what the talker is feeling. Identify feelings one word at a time: happy, sad, angry, lonely, frustrated, etc. saying:
  • I imagine you’re feeling__________________________.
  • Is that accurate?
  • What other feelings are you experiencing?
  • Mirror feelings

The listener and talker reverse roles and the listener gets a chance to share his/her thoughts and feelings. The listener is not allowed to share his/her thoughts until they have completed steps 2-4.