Nonviolent Communication

Nonviolent Communication Model

Developed by Marshall Rosenberg and his associates at the Center for Nonviolent Communication. For books and other resources visit CNVC.ORG

PART I. Honestly expressing how I am (my experience) without blaming, criticizing or judging you

STEP 1 – OBSERVATION: The concrete actions I am observing (seeing, hearing, remembering) that are contributing (or not contributing) to my well-being: “When I (see, hear) you _____________” (specific action or behavior)

STEP 2 – FEELINGS: How I am feeling in relation to these actions    “I feel ______”          (feelings, emotions, i.e. – happy, sad…)  

STEP 3 – NEEDS: The unmet needs and unmet expectations that are creating my feelings: “because I am (needing)_______”  “my need for _____ is not being met”       

STEP 4 – REQUESTS: Clearly requesting a specific action which would meet my needs without demanding.  The concrete actions I would like taken: “would you be willing to __________?”                     

PART II. Empathically receiving how you are (your experience) without hearing blame or criticism

 STEP 1 – OBSERVATION: The concrete actions you are observing (seeing, hearing, remembering) that are contributing (or not contributing) to your well-being: “When you (see, hear)________”

 STEP 2 – FEELINGS: How you are feeling in relation to these actions: “Do you feel ______” “are you feeling ______”

 STEP 3 – NEEDS: The unmet needs and unmet expectations that are creating your feelings: “because you are (needing)_______”  “your need for _____ is not being met”

 STEP 4 – REQUESTS: Empathically receiving the requests which would meet your needs without hearing any demands. The concrete actions you would like taken: “and would you like me to __________?”